No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main…
– John Donne
One of the key components of life coaching is helping my clients find other people in their lives to propel them to reach their goals.
Supportive family members and friends can provide you with the accountability needed to make the right decisions and attain your goals. So in addition to the work that you and I would do, we would also find people in your life who can be called upon to understand where you need to go and to aid you in getting there. Most often this is a spouse, a partner, a parent, or a sibling. It could be a close friend, or even a peer or co-worker. Whoever it is, he/she should be someone you can trust with the details and desires you have.
Often when we think of accountability, we think of some kind of taskmaster. We imagine our father standing over our shoulder, pointing at his watch while admonishing us about how we’re not going to lose the weight by our deadline, or quit smoking, or get that job.
While a supportive person in your life very well might literally remind you of what you need to accomplish, it’s usually not so out in the open as we imagine. You’re not looking for a nag. We can have someone keeping us on our feet, imploring us to change our behavior sooner than later, but what we’re really looking for is an emotional impact. We’re looking for emotional accountability.
We want someone whose empathy of our situation is strong enough that just talking to them, or being reminded of them inspires us to change. Rather than have your wife put post-its in your briefcase every morning, it’s a lot more effective to have her hold your hand after dinner, stare into your eyes, and have a heartfelt conversation about where you are in your progress and where you can go from there. A creative option would be: you might receive sex only when you’ve gone a day without smoking, or send in at least five resumes.
Some extraordinary men and women might be islands, but no man or woman is an emotional island. To find the success, health, and happiness I’ll help you get, you need to have a group of people whom you can fall back on in times of distress and whom you can thank after you have succeeded.
Call us today to learn more about life coaching: (212) 599-3195